The doctors office. A place of loss and trepidation.
Home to the boss of pain and medication.
All blamed on the usual suspect of inflammation.
He threatens with injections of corticosteriod
Into scary sounding places like my Sternocleidomastoid
Next he is picking up traces of a bulging hemorrhoid
It becomes impossible to avoid feeling absolutely paranoid
All this jargon is hurting my brain
As he mentions intentions of interventions for my ophthalmic vein
And I’m stressing as he is addressing the problems with my tympanic membrane
I’m slipping and tripping over these words to the point that I might get a sprain
My deoxyribonucleic acid sounds like it would burn me alive
With Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia, how on earth will I survive
How do I have unguis incarnatus at only twenty-five?
My mouth feels numb trying to say transient lingual papillitis
I’m left feeling rather dumb at the mention of gustatory rhinitis
They’re draining my income for this case of aphthous stomatitis
When did simple English become just not good enough
There must be a simpler way to talk without all the fluff
If you want to avoid being caught out with big worded medical stuff
Keep google on hand and don’t be afraid to call their bluff
Today’s day 8 poem for Na/GloPoWriMo was all around professional slang and business jargon. As I’ve been working in the medical industry, I see how often health care professionals use terminology that they know their patients will never understand and don’t even bother to explain their meanings.
Don’t let that intimidate you! Ask questions and get explanations and don’t buy into stuff that you don’t understand! You have all the right in the world to know and understand what is going on in your own body!
My industry uses Greek and Latin to make everyday, mundane conditions sound terrifying and even fatal.
1) Firstly, inflammation in the body is a normal and healthy response. It’s only excessive inflammation that causes issues.
2) Corticosteriods are a short term pain-killer
3) Your sternocleidomastoid is a muscle in your neck
4) A hemorrhoid is a swollen vein in your bum
4) Your ophthalmic veins drain your eye
5) Your tympanic membrane is a fancy word for your eardrum
6) Your deoxyribonucleic acid is the full word for DNA.
7) Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia is that headache you get when you eat ice cream too quickly.
8) Unguis incarnatus is an ingrown toenail.
9) Transient lingual papillitis is that bump you get on your tongue with a swollen taste bud.
10) Gustatory rhinitis is when your nose runs from eating spicy food
11) Aphthous stomatitis are those small little sores that in your mouth that you have to try not bite when they appear. Also called Canker sores.
Not so fancy or intimidating when you know its meaning, is it!